Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Power Of Forgiveness

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
---Chinese Proverb


In 1974, walking home from school the last day before Christmas vacation, I excitedly thought about the upcoming holiday as only ten year old boys can dream. A few doors from my home in Coral Gables, Florida, a man came up to me and asked if I would help him with the decoration for a party he was hosting for my father. Thinking that he was a friend of my dad's, I agreed to go with him.

What I didn't know was that this man held a grudge against my family. He had been employed as a nurse for an elderly relative, but he was fired because of his drinking.

After I agreed to accompany him, he drove his motor home to an isolated area north of Miami, where he stopped by the side of the road and stabbed me with an ice pick. He then drove west to the Florida Everglades, walked me out among the bushes, shot me through the head and left me to die.

Fortunately, the bullet passed behind my eyes and exited my right temple without causing any brain damage. When I regained consciousness six days later, I was unaware that I had been shot. I sat by the side of the road and was found by a man who stopped to help me.

Two weeks later, I described the person who had assaulted me to a police artist, and my uncle recognized the resulting portrait as the man who attacked me. My assailant was brought in, along with other suspects. However, the trauma and stress took its toll, and I couldn't identify him. Unfortunately, the police could not obtain any physical evidence to link him to the crime, so he was never charged.

The assault left me blind in my left eye, but otherwise uninjured, and with the love and support of my family and friends, I went back to school and resumed my life.

For the next three years, I lived with tremendous anxiety. Most nights I woke up frightened, imagining I heard someone coming in the back door, and I'd wind up sleeping at the foot of my parents' bed.

Then when I was thirteen, all that changed. One night, during a Bible study with my church youth group, I realized that God's providence and love, having miraculously kept me alive, were the basis for my life's security. In His hands, I could live without fear or anger. And so I did. I finished school, earning a bachelor's degree and a master's in divinity. I married my wonderful wife, Leslie. We have two beautiful toddlers, Amanda and Melodee.

In September of 1996, Major Charles Scherer of the Coral Gables Police Department, who had worked on the original investigation of my case, called me to tell me that the 77 year old assailant had finally confessed. Blind from glaucoma, in poor health, without family or friends, he was in a North Miami Beach nursing home. I visited him there.

The first time there I went to see him, he apologized for what he had done to me, and I told him that I had forgiven him. I visited him many times after that, introducing him to my wife and girls, offering him hope and some semblance of family in the days before his death. He was always glad when I came by. I believe that our friendship eased his loneliness and was a great relief to him after twenty two years of regrets.

I know the world might view me as the victim of a horrible tragedy, but I consider myself the “victim” of many miracles. The fact that I'm alive and have no mental deficiencies defies the odds. I've got a loving wife and a beautiful family. I've been given as much promise as anybody else---and ample opportunities. I've been blessed in a lot of ways.

And while many people can't understand how I could forgive him, from my point of view I couldn't not forgive him. If I'd chosen to hate him all these years, or spent my life looking for revenge, then I wouldn't be the man I am today---the man my wife and children love.


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By Chris Carrier
Submitted By Katy Mcnamara
Out of the Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul book.

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